This month we are talking about “Having“ vs “Experiencing“ when it comes to our spending.
In which of these two categories do you fall? Do you prefer to buy “things“ that you can use over and over again or that you can look at whenever you feel like it because it brings you joy? Or, do you prefer to spend your money on “experiences“ that will make you happy and you create memories that you can cherish forever?
If you are anything like me… you kinda fall in both categories! I know that back in the day when I suffered from FOMO, I wanted to buy all the things (which I did) and have all the experiences (which I had) and voilà, that’s how we got to know each other, you and I!!! But getting back to our little conundrum, it can be hard to decide which one of these two you identify most with. For starters, when you have little to no money, you have no choice but to buy things, like first necessity items! And when you do have money you can have both.
So why even have the discussion, you ask? Well, because when you are in the middle of it all, I mean when you start on your journey from no money to a lot of money (yes, I believe you can get there, because, Mindset, just go back to February and go through the materials, you can also get help here!) there will be a moment where you can (and you should!) spend some money on things that give you pleasure, that make you happy. I remember for me, before I knew myself as well as I know now… I wanted to buy things and go out and funds were very, very limited, so sometimes I ended up buying something and regretting it! Because I would much rather go and have a nice glass of wine (couldn’t afford the bottle or the dinner!) at a really nice bar by the beach. That’s why I think it’s important for you to find out in which category you are in.
Also, just because you can, doesn’t mean you should spend all your money on stuff and/or experiences if they are not bringing you joy or if you regret having done them later on. Just because I can afford to go on a cruise, it doesn’t mean I’m going to do it (I get sea sick!), seriously, I’m not in a financial position where I consider it’s ok to spend $10.000 on a vacation, yet. Before you go check out the prices for a cruise, this is how much the one I would love to go on costs, there’s plane fares and 5* hotels in there as well!
Now, I am an experiences kind of person but it hasn’t always been this way. Back in the day, it was really important for me to “have“ a house, “have“ really nice things and especially “have“ a lot of things in my house. Family is very important to me, dinner parties were a constant at our house (almost every weekend) and I’d rather have that than go on vacation. Again, we both know I did both and here we are today!
My family values are still the same, however, I now appreciate much more some quality time in a nice restaurant with my family once a month and going out to have a nice glass of wine with my husband than having my house cluttered by things I don’t need (it’s amazing the quantity of dust things accumulate!!!). I’d rather go on holiday three times a year than to buy clothes (not really my thing!).
I really just want you to understand that, you are always going to crave what you can’t have right now! If you are short on money you want everything and you want to do everything. If you have a lot of money you do everything and you (probably) don’t feel fulfilled. That’s why it’s important to create some kind of a balance. You need rules and routines that will help you navigate this thing called life the best you can. Also, remember, it’s the journey, not the destination, that is really important.
Sure it’s fun to go out and buy whatever you want, but… if you have everything at your fingertips how fun is it to just get it? Instead of plotting and juggling and compromising to create the plan to buy the thing! (can you tell this is a game for me? 🙂 )
This week I’m going to leave you with this to think about, next week, we’ll be looking at “Having vs Experiencing: How to deal with it in a couple!“, yes, what if your partner is your opposite? How can you deal with it?
Sara
